Autumn just kicked in last Sunday, with its usual features (and not only – it came with a ‘motivational bonus’). It’s cold out here, so rainy and windy that it’s almost impossible to hold the umbrella. It’s also pointless, because the water catches me from all directions. However, it is the only thing I can hang onto, so I won’t let it down. It’s my umbrella. It’s MY umbrella. I wish I had my gloves on, but all of them served as toys for my long dissappeared kitten, Pixie. I think she must have taken them along, as  souvenirs (they are actually hiding under my bed).

As I sat on the bus, this morning, Manic Street Preacher’s “Autumn Song” just hit me with the lines ‘So when you hear this autumn song/Clear your heads and get ready to run/So when you hear this autumn song/Remember the best times are yet to come’.  It’s quite unreallistic. I am jammed for at least 30 minutes in this metal box with 70 other people, smelling their wet jackets and trying to stay upright… How the fuck am I supposed to think of ‘best times’ ‘best times yet to come’? I can’t clear my head either, it’s crowded with honey and lemon in unstable quantities. Lemon takes over, most of the times, but copeing is my mastery, so, be it!

When I ran through the park, puddles tickled my boots, and at the traffic light I almost got sobered by an unrequested shower generated by the constant flow of cars on the street. It missed me by a few cms. Still drunk, I climbed the stairs towards the coffee machine that was glowing with the aura of a saviour hero. The hot cup pulled me up, one more floor, right to my empty office. I was already going through the usual nonsense-ical useless information on the web when I realised my goodie bag was left behind in the hall of my gloomy flat. How will I get through the day without my cheese bar?? I didn’t turn on the lights this morning. I prepared quietly, in the dark room, knowing where to find all my junk, like a mole.

I was taken by surprise by the cheerfulness in my voice on the phone.  Fixing other peoples’ problems was so rewarding while squeezing the water out of my socks. Price offers and more phone calls kept me awake and so the translation of the user’s manual belonging to a battery charger was the high-point of the day. My favourite quote: “When the device has become unusable, dispose of it in accordance with the applicable statutory regulations.” it made me think of the rules in disposing of people. Are there any? Could one be fined for being a jerk?

And the day goes on.

(no morale, no smart ending)